plus 3, Busting Pregnancy Myths - CBS News

Busting Pregnancy Myths - CBS News
Hax: There could be more to split than just 'pregnancy stress' - Idaho Statesman
ANNIE’S MAILBOX: Son needs talk about unwanted pregnancy - Vindy.com
Taking Antidepressants During Pregnancy Doubles Heart Defect Risk of ... - Natural News.com

Posted: 18 Feb 2010 09:54 PM PST

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Celebrity Curcuit

DiCaprio, Brosnan, Moore, Zellweger, Peet and Stiller Walk the Red Carpet in Berlin

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Hax: There could be more to split than just 'pregnancy stress' - Idaho Statesman

Posted: 18 Feb 2010 10:58 PM PST

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Carolyn: My friend and his wife are expecting É and separating. The cause of the separation seems to be (significant) "stress of pregnancy" issues that I believe are temporary. But, I think their behavior now, and their hurt, may prevent their reconciling after the kid is born.

While I recognize their choices are none of my business, it's hard to watch my friend nurse his hurt and think about dating other women, rather than look toward a very near future in which there will be no reason to separate and at least one big reason to stay together. As a bystander, what kinds of things are OK to say/do in support of the marriage? What kinds of things are over the line?

VA.

Assuming you're that kind of friend, how about: "Maybe you should wait till your wife gives birth before you openly contemplate dating other women, you moron." You can also flick his forehead.

Absolutely, there are things you don't know, as you acknowledge. For one, she could be as big a moron as he is, if not bigger. It could just be his hurt feelings talking. And it could be over between them for reasons that have nothing to do with pregnancy stress, where the prospect of a child merely precipitated a meltdown that was coming all along (and that the child was possibly conceived to pre-empt, ugh).

Whatever the case may be, you do know your friend is a mess, and you know the baby's coming, mess be damned. And, your friend is confiding in you. And, while the baby obviously has a timetable, absolutely nothing else does.

So the most productive - and compassionate - tack might just be to listen as he talks his way through this, and remind him at judicious intervals that his best move might be no move at all. He loses nothing by waiting to see what effect the baby has on his life before turning that life on end.

Carolyn: My ex-boyfriend, who cheated and left me for "Liz," has started reaching out to me as though he wants to be friends. He seems to call when he wants to vent about Liz, whom he describes as controlling and abusive. I'm suspicious of his motives. If it were anyone else, I'd say lose the abusive girlfriend, but I don't want him to misinterpret my interests, and part of me still wants him to suffer a little for leaving me. The answer seems obvious after saying all that, but is this a friendship that's not worth having?

BLAH

When the guy who cheated on you and dumped you calls you to bad-mouth the woman he left you for, and when you don't tell him where he can stuff it before you stop taking his calls, the question becomes: Why are you ignoring this seemingly obvious answer?

There's always a reason. Whatever that reason is - you want him back, you want to "win," you want to rewrite the unhappy ending - facing it is the only path out of your rut. Not just with this guy, but with future ones as well.

E-mail tellme@washpost.com. Chat online at 10 a.m. Fridays at www.washingtonpost.com.

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ANNIE’S MAILBOX: Son needs talk about unwanted pregnancy - Vindy.com

Posted: 18 Feb 2010 09:11 PM PST

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Dear Annie: My son is 19 and a freshman in college. His girlfriend is 17 and a junior in high school. They have been dating for almost two years, and their relationship has been very physical from the beginning. Due to diligent observation and minor snooping, my husband and I are convinced they are sexually active.

We have talked many times to our son about personal responsibility and strongly encouraged him to wait to have sex. We care about his girlfriend and are terribly concerned about her getting pregnant at this young age. My question is, should we attempt any kind of communication about this with the girl or her parents, or just MYOB? Trying To Be Helpful

Dear Trying: If you are worried about an unwanted pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease, the person to talk to is your son. Tell him you are aware that he and his girlfriend are probably sexually active. Ask whether he is using protection every single time. He should not leave it up to her. He is an adult now and needs to understand that the decisions he makes have an impact on others. We hope you have an open enough relationship to discuss this frankly and honestly.

Dear Annie: I'm 49. My parents divorced when I was a teenager. My mother's family was not supportive and for several years had no contact with her. I wrote letters to my aunts and uncles, saying how petty and vile they were to ostracize their own sister in her time of need. My father engaged in nasty actions of his own to hurt us. He also became estranged from his younger brother, and as a result, I lost contact with those cousins.

Over time, my mother gained back the support of her family, but I knew my relationship with them had been irreparably harmed. My relationship with my father took more than two decades to heal. All this drama taught me that I couldn't count on my family to offer support when it was needed.

Recently, I came across information that explained a lot. A year before the divorce, my mother had an affair with my father's younger brother. Now I have a lot of pent-up anger toward my mother. Her selfish actions hurt a lot of people. But I feel I need to apologize to my aunts and uncles for the terrible things I said to them so long ago.

I realize I'm never going to have the kind of relationship I want with them, even if I do apologize. How can I atone and get past the hurt and anger? Florida

Dear Florida: You are being awfully hard on yourself. You were a teenager and protective of your mother. It's likely your relatives assumed you didn't want a relationship. They could be quite willing to start over. But first you must forgive everyone involved, including both of your parents, as well as yourself. If you continue to hold on to your anger, you will keep looking for someone to blame. Counseling can help nudge you in the right direction if you are unable to get there on your own.

Dear Annie: The way "Nervous in Virginia" described her husband's driving sounds exactly like an adult driver affected by ADD.

After 42 years of living with an undiagnosed Attention Deficit Disorder, my husband began taking prescribed medication. To our amazement, the most obvious difference was his astonishingly improved driving.

Perhaps ADD may be the cause of this man's reckless and distracted driving. Enjoying the Ride Now

Dear Enjoying: Maybe, although it doesn't explain his extremely inconsiderate reaction to his wife's distress. But we hope she'll look into it.

SBlt Send a money-saving or timesaving hint to Heloise, P.O. Box 795000, San Antonio, TX 78279-5000, or you can fax it to (210) HELOISE or e-mail it to Heloise@Heloise.com.

King Features Syndicate

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Taking Antidepressants During Pregnancy Doubles Heart Defect Risk of ... - Natural News.com

Posted: 18 Feb 2010 09:11 PM PST

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(NaturalNews) Women who take certain antidepressant drugs while pregnant may double their child's risk of being born with a certain variety of heart defect, according to a study conducted by researchers from Aarhaus University in Denmark and published in the medical journal BMJ.

"Anyone who is pregnant or considering becoming pregnant and has any concerns about the treatment for depression should speak to their doctor," said Cathy Ross of the British Heart Foundation.

Researchers compared the risk of birth defects in 1,370 children born to women who took at least one selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) while pregnant with the risk in 400,000 other children whose mothers had not taken any SSRIs while pregnant. They found that the drugs fluoxetine (marketed as Prozac), sertraline (marketed as Zoloft) and citalopram (marketed as Celexa) all significantly increased the risk that a child would be born with a defect in the septum, which separates the right and left halves of the heart.

Septum defects include a variety of conditions from minor blood vessel problems to outright holes in the heart. The researchers found that one extra septum defect would develop for every 246 pregnant women taking an SSRI during the time period from 28 days before through 112 days after conception.

Taking more than one SSRI drastically increased the risk of septum defects. While the risk of the defects was 0.5 percent in mothers not taking the drugs and 0.9 percent in those taking one drug (an 80 percent increase), it was 2.1 percent in mothers taking two or more (a more than 300 percent increase).

Sertraline appeared to increase the risk more than citalopram or fluoxetine did.

The study is not the first linking SSRIs to birth defects. Previous research has found a link between the drugs and defects of the heart and of other bodily systems.

Sources for this story include: www.reuters.com; www.telegraph.co.uk.

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